sausage city, sweetheart

Oh!  Did I tell you about the time I sausaged out of the top of my NYE dress?  Yep.  Totally did.  I don't know what the hell is going on with me.  I wore the dresss in September for Sabina's wedding, and it was totally acceptable.  Then the day before new year's eve I put on this dress right here:

I had a MUFFIN TOP coming out over the bodice!  WTF!  If I stood a certain way, it looked ok, but I was going to a fabulous party and I did not want to have to worry about standing a certain way all night.  Know what I mean?  I ended up just wearing a black cocktail dress that I have had forever, loaned out a million times (because it looks good on literally every one of my friends), and trusted not to do me wrong in pictures.

Luckily, Jordan's strategically placed silly NYE hat covers the belly that I'm positive I did not remember to suck in.  Thanks, Jordan! :)

So the moral of this story is, I have an additional side goal: I do not want to look like a stuffed sausage the next time I put that dress on.  There's no reason for that.